Behind the Walls You Built
by White Rose of Wutai
Summary: Rooster Teeth fic Griffon and Geoff have been together for a while now, and she feels like now is the right time to take the next step. However Geoff has a secret from his past that still effects him, and Griffons proposal has brought some painful memories back to haunt him. You see, Geoff's ex-wife use to abuse, hit, rape and manipulate him. (Sorry for terrible summery)
1. Bricks & Morter

Griffon's heart was pounding in her chest, her palms sweaty. She licked her lips nervously as she stood in the kitchen doorway, staring at her boyfriend. Geoff was more at home in the kitchen than anyone she knew, and he was currently chopping veggies in preparation for that nights dinner, whilst bopping along to the radio. He sensed her presence, and turned to face her, grinning widely as he started singing alongside the current artist (WAY off key, but singing none the less), reaching his arms out to beckon her towards him. She relented with a chuckle, and fell into his arms as he twisted and turned her, gently goading her into jiving just as ridiculously as he was (truth be told, she didn't need much goading; she loved these moments more than anything). She gazed up at him as the song changed to a slow number, and Geoff adjusted his dance accordingly, now holding her close to him as he swayed them both from side to side, serenading her, his voice cracking deliberately on the high notes.  
She was gonna do it. Right now; it was perfect! She was just gonna bite the bullet and go for it.  
'Geoff, will you marry me?'

Geoff abruptly stopped swaying, staring down at his girlfriend. His breath caught in his throat, and hitched, eyes blown wide open, pupils dilated. He tried to speak, untangling himself from Griffons embrace and backing away rapidly, but breathing was becoming a major issue, so talking was out of the question. Realising that his oxygen intake had dramatically dropped, Geoff tried to take a deep breath, but it was as if his throat had closed up and was refusing to allow entry to the much needed air. Panicking, he attempted to take another breath, but once again it failed. His breathing became shallow and desperate, terror clear in his eyes as his vision harshly narrowed and blurred, as if he was looking into a tunnel. He backed himself against the kitchen wall, fending off all Griffons attempts to help with a weak bat of his hand. He slid down the wall, and crumpled into a heap on the floor. He barely even registered Griffon kneel down beside him, tilting his head up to open up his airway more.  
She ran her fingers through his hair soothingly, trying to keep calm for Geoff, despite the panic rising in her own chest. She had never seen her boyfriend like this, in all their years together. She had seen him upset, sure, but nowhere near like this.  
'Its okay baby, its okay. Come back to me, Geoff. I'm here. Come back to me. I'm here and I love you.'  
She punctuated each whispered sentence with a tender kiss to his cheek, using the hand that wasn't massaging through his hair, to gently lace her fingers between his own. She squeezed his hand gently, and couldn't stop the relieved smile breaking out on her face when he softly grasped hers in return.  
As Geoff visibly began to calm; his breathing becoming less sharp and more natural, Griffon continued to sooth him, firmly pushing aside the thoughts that fought to surface. As much as she wanted to know, and was honestly a little hurt as to why her proposal had triggered such a violent negative reaction in Geoff, she was determined not to set him off again by demanding answers so soon after a panic attack.  
She continued her ministrations on his scalp, revelling in the small victory when Geoff lent into her touch, and gripped her hand more securely. She slowly pulled him into a kneeling position, manoeuvring the man into a secure hug, whispering encouragingly when he blanched away from her, peppering his face with kisses.  
They sat on the floor, Geoff enveloped in Griffons arms as they knelt in front of each other, his face buried into her neck, as he hiccupped back the tears he was determined would not leave his eyes. They stayed in that position for ten minutes, Griffon silently cheering each time Geoff took a deep breath.  
'Geoff...' she said gently 'As much as I love you sweetie, my knees are falling asleep, and I'm sure yours can't be much better.' She grinned at him as he let out a small snort of laughter.  
He stood up, gently pulling her to her feet too, kissing her forehead to reassure her that he was okay. She slipped her arms around his waist, and reached up on her tiptoes to kiss him on the nose.

'Do you...do you wanna talk about it, sweetie?' she ventured cautiously, rubbing a hand up and down his arm encouragingly, tracing around his tattoos.  
She immediately regretted her question, cursing herself mentally as Geoff once again pulled himself away from her.

'I gotta go see Burnie, got some RvB stuff to sort out.' He said, hurriedly making his way out of the kitchen.  
'But the series is finished; he said everything is done and ready for uploading soon.' Griffon followed him as he grabbed his shoes and jacket, and snatched his phone off the sofa.  
'For the next series. Or finishing touches on this one. Or something. I dunno, just need to see Burnie now.' He babbled, all but running out of the front door.  
'Geoff!'  
Geoff ignored her as he tugged on his coat whilst he strode down the street, trying to will his ragged breaths back to normal- having a panic attack on your own kitchen floor is one thing; in the street, alone at 9pm was a whole other ball game. He frantically punched in the familiar number on his phone, raising it to his ear. By the 4th ring, he had lost all hope of preventing the panic. When Burnie answered, he just barked out his location with a desperate '_hurry_' and curled up into a sobbing ball in the middle of the sidewalk -immensely grateful for the lack of people- waiting for his best friend to come and save him.


	2. From the Rubble

**A/N (As I'm writing this, one of my new pet rats is scrabbling around in my lap, and oh my god does it tickle, but he is so goddamn cute! 3 3)  
(He just pooped on me -_- he's lucky he is so cute)**

Burnie found Geoff after 10 minutes driving up and down the street he had said he was waiting on. He eventually spotted him, curled up in a ball leaning against a fence, head buried into his own knees, shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Burnie got out of the car and walked over to Geoff, placing a hand lightly on his shoulder. His concern grew when the man did not react immediately.  
'Geoff? What's up bud?'  
When Geoff looked up at him with a glazed look in his puffy red eyes, Burnie's heart sank. He recognised that look. He hadn't seen that look on Geoff's face in a long time, and since he had begun his relationship with Griffon, he had hoped that he would never see it again.  
He gently helped his friend to his feet, and led him to the passenger seat of his car, murmuring encouragingly.

Once they reached Burnie's house, and got inside, Geoff headed straight for the cabinet where he knew Burnie kept his hard liquor, and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. He cracked open the bottle and took a generous swig straight from the neck, silencing Burnie's yelp of protests with a promise to buy him a new fucking bottle, Jesus H Christ!  
He threw himself down onto the sofa, taking long dregs from the pilfered liquor. Burnie got himself a beer from the fridge, and sat down in the armchair opposite Geoff.  
'So, what's the problem, bud?'  
'There's still alcohol in this fucking bottle; that's my current problem. But don't worry, I'm working on it.'  
Burnie sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his palm.  
'I can certainly see that, Geoff, but c'mon. What happened? I've not seen you like this in years, not since-'  
'I fucking remember when the last time was, Michael. I don't need you to remind me.'  
Burnie groaned, as Geoff took another mouthful of the rapidly depleting whiskey.  
'You gotta work with me here buddy! Should I call Griffon? Where is she anyway? Probably worried sick about you...'  
'Will you just BACK THE FUCK OFF?!' Geoff actually snarled at him 'Griffon is fine. She's at home, probably packing her bags as we fucking speak.'  
He glared at the bottle in his hand as if it had personally offended him, purposefully facing downwards and away from Burnie, but the tears rolling down his cheeks at the thought of Griffon leaving him, did not escape his friends notice.  
On the pretext of grabbing another beer, Burnie walked out of the room, clapping the other man supportively on the shoulder as he passed him.  
Once in the kitchen, he quickly pulled out his phone and scrolled to Griffons name.  
_Griffy, got Geoff here. Rly upset, what the hell happnd? Burns x x  
_He anxiously paced around, waiting for the reply. He made a show of slamming cupboard doors, and opening and closing draws, complaining about losing the bottle opener (he was hoping against hope that Geoff wouldn't come into the kitchen to help him look, and see that he was in fact still holding it from the last beer, but he figured that seeing as he was still making his way through a bottle of his finest whiskey, the chances of him needing a bottle opener any time soon was minimal)  
Luckily, he didn't have long to wait long for the reply.  
The familiar chime of his phone announced Griffons response as he was opening the cupboard under the sink for the third time.  
_Fuck is he OK? Dunno whats wrong Burn. I proposed to him & he just freaked the fuck out. Thought he was havin a heart attack! So glad you txt, i was about 2 call the police. Been calling his phone 4 an hour! Can I talk 2 him? X x  
_Instantly, Burnie knew EXACTLY what was on Geoff's mind. Why he had got that horrible defeated look back in his eyes.  
He fired off a quick reply -telling Griffon not to call, that he would look after Geoff and bring him home in the morning and everything would be fine- and headed back into the living room, beer in hand.  
Geoff is still right where he left him (although the bottle now held considerably less whiskey) with his head in his hands. Burnie took his place in the armchair again, reaching out to place his hand on Geoff's arm, preventing him from taking another swig.  
'Geoff... She's...she's not _her_, y'know? Griffon loves you Geoff.'  
'Burnie I-'  
'No, Geoff. I know she asked you to marry her. I know you freaked out about the idea of getting married again, but buddy; it's GRIFFON. She isn't like her, Geoff. She isn't Molly.'  
'DONT YOU THINK I KNOW THAT! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT BURNIE, I KNOW SHE ISNT MOLLY! I DON'T WANNA FUCKING TALK, I WANT TO HAVE A DRINK. WHY WONT YOU JUST LET ME HAVE A GOD DAMNED DRINK BURNIE, WHY?' Geoff was on his feet now, attempting to shake off Burnie's hold on his arm.  
Burnie held on.  
'You have drunk your way through half a bottle of my $50 scotch. I think it's safe to say I am letting you have a fucking drink, okay? Okay.' He squeezed Geoff's arm gently but firmly, guiding him back into sitting on the sofa 'now, were just gonna have a chat, okay bud? You and Griff have a great thing going on here, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand by and let what Molly did to you almost 10 years ago ruin that. Okay? You gonna sit and talk through it, or are you just gonna drink yourself into oblivion and let her control you again?'  
Geoff didn't speak, just nodded numbly, looking at the carpet.  
'Okay, good.' Burnie sat down again, his hand still on Geoff's arm 'Now you gotta see the differences here dude; Molly... Molly was poison. She was manipulative, and controlling, and all she did was hurt you. Now Griffon, has she ever hurt you? In all the years you two have been together, has she ever hurt you? Has she ever threatened you, or made you do things you didn't want to? Has she?'  
Geoff shook his head, still refusing to make eye contact.  
'Well that's a relief to know. But ya see? See the difference?'  
Geoff stared at the floor, bringing up the arm not clutching the bottle and rubbing his mouth and cheek. He mumbled something into his hand.  
'What was that?' Burnie said, ducking his head downwards in an attempt to get his friend to look him in the face.  
Geoff looked up, tears once again rolling down his face.  
'I said; Molly was perfect too.'  
Burnie felt like tearing his hair out. Something of his frustration must have shown in his face, as Geoff immediately began back tracking.  
'Not...not like that. I mean, I know she was abusive; I know that. I just mean in the beginning. When we were first together, she was the perfect girlfriend, like Griffon is now. You didn't know her then, you didn't meet her before we were married, but Gus knew her when we were still just dating. She was great, honestly. She didn't...didn't change until after we got married Burnie.'  
Comprehension dawned on Burnie.  
'So...so when Griffon proposed to you... You thought...'  
'What if it happens again Burnie?' Geoff wailed suddenly dropping the bottle of whiskey on the carpet, and launching himself into Burnie's arms 'I can't do it; I can't take it if it happens again. I love Griffon, but I can't help it, I can't. If it turns out like before, it would mean Molly was right. What if she was right Burnie, what if it is my fault and I did deserve it? I don't want to do that to her, not to Griffon. If she becomes like Molly was because of me, I don't know what I'd do!' Geoff was bawling his eyes out into Burnie's shoulder, his tears soaking through his friends' jumper.  
Burnie pulled him onto his lap -ignoring his legs protesting at the weight of a full grown man being sat on them- and held him until he was cried out.  
Once Geoff had calmed down again, Burnie spoke softly.  
'You know that's bullshit, right?'  
Geoff shifted in his arms to look up questioningly  
'What Molly told you about deserving it. Its bullshit. She was sick in the head, dude. There is no one to blame for what happened, except for her.'  
Geoff didn't reply, just gave Burnie a quick hug, and slid off of him. He glanced down at the still open whiskey bottle and winced as he saw the remainder of the golden liquid soaking into the otherwise pristine baby pink carpet.  
'Shit dude, I'm sorry.'  
Burnie grimaced at the stain, but shrugged. 'Eh. Jordan will understand. I hope.'  
He smirked at Geoff, who returned it with an embarrassed grin, and a yawn. This of course set Burnie off yawning, and the two were caught in a strange yawning cycle for a few minutes, which set both men off laughing, clearing the atmosphere of any lingering tension between the two.  
'C'mon you, bed. I'll drop you off in the morning, and you are gonna talk to Griffon, okay?'  
Geoff paled, and started to stammer out a rejection, which Burnie quickly nipped in the bud.  
'Uh-uh. No excuses. The sooner you two talk about this, the better.'  
'But she'll think I'm weak... Beaten up by a girl for years...Not exactly the most masculine model of a man, am I?'  
'Geoff, have you MET Griff? When has she ever given a fuck about gender stereotypes? Now come on. I assume you wanna sleep in the bed with me again? Jordan is away so it's no problem.' He remembered the first few weeks after Geoff has escaped Molly. The poor guy had not felt like sleeping alone, so he had stayed with Burnie until he found his own apartment.  
His assumption proved correct when Geoff nodded shyly. Burnie held out his hand towards him.  
'Good. Now c'mon. I'm tired as dicks, and we're getting up early. Fuck, it's gonna be annoying as heck to sleep in boxers again... The things I do for you, Ramsey!'  
Geoff chuckled. 'Fucking tough, Burns. There is now way we are sharing a bed with you being buck ass naked. And you better keep them on all fucking night this time; it was awkward as dicks last time when Gus walked in to see you with your fucking cock resting on my leg. I swear I almost took all the skin off my knee making sure it was fucking clean after that!'  
He took the outstretched hand, and squeezed it gratefully, allowing himself to be dragged up the stairs to bed.


End file.
